As comprised, compiled, voted, and decided upon by a full and democratic committee consisting entirely of...Mikey.
Final Season Totals: 10 - Red 7 - Dan 3 - Ted 3 - New Mike 2 - Porn 2 - BrYan 1 - Adam 1 - Steve 1 - Petey 1 - Dave 1 - B 1 - Lou 1 - GoaltenderSubGuy 1 - Waitress Each #1 Star = 3pts, #2 Star = 2pts, #3 Star = 1pt. Playoffs Friday, November 12, 2010 Chiefs 5 Spiders 1 #3 No #$3 star awarded (actually, I probably would have awarded one, but it was so long ago that I've forgotten who played well). #2 No #2 star awarded. #1 No #1 star awarded in loss. Quote of the Night [Petey, reading B's text after the game.] "Sorry guys, I fell asleep. Hope you pulled out." "A win." Friday, October 29, 2010 Spiders 7 Natural Disasters 3 #3 Adam, Steve NewMike - Each with a goal, IIRC. #2 Red - Gets bumped down a notch for fighting! #1 I'd give it to myself for having had two, but I don't like to award myself for anything less than a hat trick. Pleasure myself, sure. But award myself, no. Quote of the Night #27 on the Natural Disasters - "I'm 23 and served in the army!" [Apropos of nothing, before fighting Red.] Friday, October 15, 2010 Fools2 4 OT Spiders 3 #3 BrYan, B - The Scalper had some moves and some rushes going on. B gets a welcome back star to go along with all the welcome back handjobs he got. #2 Would have gone to Red, but tripping Porn and almost costing us a goalie sort of evens out his karma for the night, so we'll leave #2 blank and call it even. #1 No #1 star awarded in loss. Quote of the Night Petey/Mikey - [Discussing M-Theory, Quantum Mechanics, Universe vs. Multiverse, etc..] Everyone Else- "Shut the fuck up!" Friday, October 1, 2010 Spiders 5 Bipolar Bears 2 #3 Our Waitress - Unbeknowst to her, she gets a star for bringing me a dinosaur sippy cup full of delicious pink lemonade! #2 Dan (honorary) - Ok, he's not getting another actual farewell star, since he got one of those for his first last game a month ago. #1 Sweaty Teddy - Ok, so it's a charity star, but surely he's not above such things? All seriousness aside, he gets top billing in his last game as a Spider before moving to Nashville to train Navy Seals. Quote of the Night [The Pearl Jam tribute band (or possibly Pearl Jam themselves) are playing loud enough up at Jay's so as to make hearing difficult.] Bryan - "Did you tell her we want a pizza and 20 hot wings?" Ted - "No, I told her you ordered 20 pizzas and 1 hot wing." Saturday, September 18, 2010 Chiefs 5 Spiders 4 None submitted. Quote of the Night None submitted. Sunday, September 5, 2010 Taggart 4 OT Spiders 3 #3 New Goaltender Sub Person Guy Thing - We did lose in OT, but he made some awesome saves. Porn who? #2 Dan - A farewell star for his last game as a Spider. #1 No #1 star awarded in loss. Quote of the Night None submitted. Saturday, August 28, 2010 Fools2 3 Spiders 2 #3 Lou - Some amazing sub work in goal, especially considering he hadn't played since the last Spiders Arena Night. #2 Dan - A game with goals. #1 No #1 star awarded in loss. Quote of the Night Rich [upon given Cars defensive advice] - "I'll teach you how to go down on guys." Friday, August 20, 2010 Spiders 5 Bipolar Bears 4 #3 Meh, can't think of one. #2 Petey - With some kind of goal. #1 Red - Had some number of goals between one and infinity. Also showed restraint when hacked across the ankle on a breakaway late in the game. Quote of the Night Ted [upon introducing himself to New Mike] - "Hi, I'm Ted. Let me shake your hand before I go take a shit." Wednesday, August 11, 2010 Spiders 9 Chiefs 2 [NOTE: In my absence, tonight's stars are brought to you by Big Red.] #3 Dave, BrYan, Porn - Dave's check. BrYan's mouth. Porn's mask (with its first win). #2 Dan, New Mike - Dan with two goals, New Mike with one.#1 Red - Gives himself a #1 star, but he did have six goals so it's probably justified. Quote of the Night None submitted. Friday, August 6, 2010 SID 4 Spiders 1 #3 Red, Porn - Red has our only goal, unless I deflected it, which I might have. Porngets a star for his shiny new mask, even though results would indicate that it apparently makes it tough for him to see the puck. #2 No #2 star awarded. #1 No #1 star awarded in loss. Quote of the Night Porn - "When your son is about five years old, let him see your penis once. For the rest of his life, he'll think you have the biggest dick in the world." Somebody - "What if you have a daughter? Do the same thing?" Porn - "No, just fuck her." Saturday, July 31, 2010 Aim Low 9 Spiders 2 #3 Dan, Red - Our only two goals in a lopsided contest. #2 No #2 star awarded. #1 No #1 star awarded in loss. Quote of the Night Bryan - "I'm hoping to meet Ben Roethlisberger in a bathroom."